chronic

"Like always, they'll ask if I'm a danger to myself or others, if I want to die and if I have a plan. The plan is very important. Then they'll ask for a suicide history, but they don't seem to be interested in all those times when a person has been on that edge for hours, days, or weeks; they only want to know about actual attempts. Apparently getting that close and then backing away doesn't count. But from my side, it's like racing toward a brick wall in a car and then swerving at the last minute. Afterward there's adrenaline and relief, but no way to get out of the car, and the compulsion to careen toward the wall comes again and again."

Kiera Van Gelder
The Buddha & the Borderline

03 November 2015

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